How do you choose joy when the ‘ands’ of life unsettle?
It had been sitting on my bedroom floor for several weeks. Crisp mornings and clearer evening skies signaled it was time to bring it up.
The big tan box with the criss-crossed brown lid. It was filled with all my fall and winter clothing, tucked away since springtime.
The temps run the gamut in fall so my collection of muted colors and fluffier fabrics sat undisturbed—except for when I had to vacuum!
“And” is a word I use frequently in the fall.
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It’s hot & cold
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It’s the start of a new season & a longing for the season I love so much
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It’s the smell of apples and cinnamon & the smell of snow soon-to-fall.
The &’s of Life for Hagar
Genesis 16 tells us the story of Hagar, an Egyptian slave girl who was both a servant & the mother of Abram’s first son.
On the one hand, she was embraced for producing the heir Sarai could not.
On the other hand, she was despised for mothering the replacement son who inspired jealousy and doubt.
Hagar understood well the blessing & the curse of rising to prominence.
She was a ‘wife substitute.’
Although it was common practice, Abram taking Hagar as his concubine showed a lack of faith in God who keeps His promises. Hagar was forced into this toxic confusion of waiting and doubt.
Isn’t that often the case? We get tangled in the crossfires of someone else’s longings and misguided efforts. How do we choose joy when the ‘ands’ of life unsettle us?
Soon after, Hagar became pregnant and rose to importance beyond her station as a servant.
Like the fall leaves, Hagar was adorned with the colors of motherhood—radiant with life as she carried this hoped-for child. But like expiring foliage, Hagar fell while decorated in pride.
But when Hagar knew she was pregnant, she began to mistreat her mistress, Sarai, with contempt. Genesis 16:4
Life as Hagar knew it dried up and she ran away.
Hagar was living the “&’s” of fall. The initial joy she felt at conceiving a child gave way to pride, disrespect, abuse, fear, and eventually isolation.
Hagar sat alone in the wilderness when an angel came and asked a question to which God’s messenger already had the answer.
Genesis 16:7-12 Unfolds into Fall
What do you notice in Genesis 16?
Here’s what I initially observed.
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Hagar ran away from her problems
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God sent an angel to find Hagar
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The angel came to her while she was pregnant
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The angel did most of the speaking
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God gave the angel authority to speak a blessing and future over Hagar’s son
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God’s Messenger spoke and Hagar obeyed
Probing further, here’s what’s especially noteworthy. The angel knew all about Hagar and yet asked where she’d come from and where she was going.
Stated a slightly different way, God’s messenger asks:
What’s going on in your life and what do you intend for your life to look like?
3 Ways to Choose Joy in the ‘Ands’ of Life
1. For joy to grow in us, we must first name the reason for joy’s absence in our lives.
How did Hagar choose joy when the ‘ands’ of life unsettled her? She named the reason for joy’s absence. I’m running away from my mistress, Sarai.
We must be honest about why joy is elusive.
Is it because:
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It’s easier to stay angry than to be joyful
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It’s too hard—I can’t take this anymore
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I can’t pretend to be something I’m not. How can I be joyful when everything’s falling apart?
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They demand too much from me—they don’t deserve my joy.
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Joy seems so weak, so non-responsive and I need to stand my ground.
There are numerous reasons joy remains at arm’s length. At the end of the day though, joy is negotiable in our lives because we’re busy feeding and nurturing something else.
2. For joy to grow in us, we must acknowledge God’s Presence.
Twice, Hagar went to the wilderness at Sarai’s hand (16:7; 21:14). Both times, Hagar was met and seen by God—and she knew it.
Thereafter, Hagar used another name to refer to the LORD, who had spoken to her. She said, ‘You are the God who truly sees me.’ She also said, ‘Have I truly seen the one who sees me?’ Genesis 16:13
God had His eyes on her.
God understood her and welcomed her.
God saw her.
And Hagar knew it.
Let’s review. Hagar was forced into a situation she didn’t choose. She was instructed to return to a woman whose response she couldn’t control. Hagar was a woman living in a crooked and toxic time that honored some lives over others.
And yet, it’s the Egyptian Slave girl whose voice is the first to name God as El-roi, the one who sees.
(It reminds me of the women at the Tomb after Jesus had risen from the dead. It wasn’t the wealthy or the educated. Not the privileged or the well-spoken to whom Jesus first appeared. It was the women whose voices had been marginalized. Many years after Hagar’s tears dried up, God still sees the hearts of those hurting from the outside edges.)
How did Hagar choose joy when the ‘ands’ of life unsettled her? Hagar acknowledged the God who welcomed her in.
The God who cradled in compassion.
The God who saw the unseen and gave voice to the unheard.
El-roi—God sees you.
Oh friends, if that doesn’t move us to joy, I don’t know what will!
3. We must make room for God’s Presence for the Spirit’s joy to come to life in us.
Joy grows in us as we walk in step with God–even when the way ahead is difficult and painful.
Listen to how Genesis 16:11-12 pairs pain with God’s Presence.
And the angel also said, “You are now pregnant and will give birth to a son, You are to name him Ishmael (which means ‘God hears’), for the LORD has heard your cry of distress. This son of yours will be a wild man as untamed as a wild donkey! He will raise his fist against everyone, and everyone will be against him. Yes, he will live in open hostility against all his relatives.
Genesis 16:11-12
Not exactly a joy-inducing future.
And yet, her son’s future performance and resume aren’t from where Hagar’s joy resonates.
Hagar’s joy erupts from someplace else.
Chapter 21 unfolds with Hagar back in the wilderness. She consigned herself to die and put her son under the shade of a bush so she didn’t have to watch him die.
Then God opened Hagar’s eyes, and she saw a well full of water. She quickly filled her water container and gave the boy a drink. Genesis 21:19
God didn’t change Hagar’s circumstances, any more than we can stop autumn leaves from falling. The &’s of life don’t limit the roving eyes of the Almighty God.
Despite the glim tomorrows the angel described for her son, Hagar was beautifully undone by the God in whose image she was created. His Presence was there, with her.
Her mouth overflowed with adoration for the God who saw her when everyone else closed their eyes.
How did Hagar choose joy when the ‘ands’ of her life unsettled her? Hagar drew near and joy came bubbling out.
Joy grows when we put ourselves in God’s proximity.
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When we choose to be seen by God.
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When we allow God to refine and redefine who we are and Whose we are.
Fall Joy’s invitation?
Will you be seen by God in the ‘&’s’ of your life?
FOR YOUR REFLECTION
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What name would you give God? And why?
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What do you welcome and appreciate about the God who sees you?
FOR YOU TO PRAY
El-roi (pronounced “Roy”),
You are the God who sees. Just as You saw Hagar, You see me more clearly than I see myself. You see what triggers my insecurities and weaknesses. You aren’t surprised by people who tie me up in knots or situations that leave me hopeless and despairing.
In Your kindness God, would you deliver me to joy? Would You restore to me the joy of my salvation—joy in being seen and heard and known and welcomed by You. What You think of me and how You see me mean more to me now.
Let that joy arise in me this week.
I belong to You, now and forever.
Amen.
Until next time, may the abundance of God’s joy and the generosity of God’s grace lead you.